leonawriter

Fandom: Bungo Stray Dogs
Characters: Dazai, Chuuya, various others.
Pairings: Dazai/Chuuya.

Summary: Post-canon, and it's supposed to be an outing to wind down, after another disaster had made them have to work together again. Dazai recognising just how drunk Chuuya is, however, changes things somewhat.

...

They're in one of those rare bars in the area that both didn't bat an eye at either the familiar faces of the mafia, or the by-now just as easily recognisable ones of the ADA, and also had its karaoke setup in a less boxed in part of the place than the actual karaoke places. It was better, after all, to know where you were, to know you weren't close enough to get knifed in the ribs when half drunk, and if it weren't for that being the reason why it was familiar, it would almost be nostalgic.

(He remembered more than a few times, when that had happened, leaving as if nothing out of the ordinary had taken place, and it'd probably be several hours before the body was found.)

As it was, Dazai was more sober than some, who were already obviously feeling the effects of the drinks they'd been having through the night, but less so than others.

Earlier, he'd managed - through a complicated process of looking cute and harmless in varying amounts, as well as other methods of applying pressure - to get Atsushi to make an attempt on a song in English, that the boy had only been able to sing because the words had come up on the screen in a language he'd recognised as well, although that had still meant that the words, when sung, were unsure, and his voice all over the place. It was worth it, however, just to hear Eye of the Tiger coming from their resident were-tiger.

Just another night of their two organisations mingling, letting off steam after another incident that had forced them to work together. Although thankfully, the disaster this time came with far fewer casualties than some he could mention, anything that required the two companies to put aside their differences was bound to bring up bad memories.

Mori had ulterior motives, of course. Just as he had when he had first sent Chuuya after him, in their war against the Guild. Maybe one day such ties would be more trouble than they were worth - for Atsushi's sake, however, he hoped that they had the opposite effect, that if possible...

The sound of Akutagawa's voice, a little unsteady from drink himself yet surprisingly able to still hold a song quite well, trailed off, and Dazai's eyes trail the path that a black hat is making toward the mike, not falling down, or swaying, but having that even more determined stride than usual that broadcasts loud and clear to anyone who knew him well enough that Chuuya was well and truly drunk.

His hand is halfway to his phone, stuck between the need to record whatever happens next for posterity - and potential blackmail purposes - and the foreboding sense of something about to go wrong.

Chuuya starts to sing in English, which is a big contributor to why it takes so long for him to recognise which song it is, since Chuuya hadn't used the karaoke machine for this.

It also takes a good few moments longer than it should for him to figure out what the words are at all, although when he realises, he can't help but laugh, because really-

"What would you think if I sang out of tune?"

Chuuya was out of tune enough as it was. It was probably a good think most of the people here were either too nice or too drunk - or too loyal - to remind him of that later on.

"Would you stand up and walk out on me?"

For some reason, Dazai's mouth feels dry, his palms sweaty, as though someone had just pointed out a flaw in an old, old plan.

Which wasn't too far wrong, perhaps.

He finds himself making his way over, and a brush of his fingers against Chuuya's is enough to - "Whoops!" - have the mini mafia stumble and fall, and Chuuya might be cursing him and his ability to hell and back, but if Chuuya's the kind of drunk he thinks he is, then perhaps it's better to stop right there, before...

"What do I do when my love is away?"

The words are coming out mumbled now, because now he's been dragged back to a seat he's not going to fall out of if he slips control on that gravity of his, or if Dazai grabs at him, but awkward English or not, that isn't why he's not still back where the mike is.

Something tells him that he should know why, but no answers come. The awkward silence is broken when another song starts to play, this time one of Yosano-sensei's favourites.

Chuuya's still humming under his breath, a few words coming out every now and then.

He can't take Chuuya back to wherever he's staying; for one thing, he hasn't been graced with that knowledge, and for another, if it's mafia-affiliated, then he wouldn't want to be seen within a good distance anyway.

But, he can stay a while longer, at least.

I get by, with a little help from my friends, he all but hears in Chuuya's voice, shaken by the dampness in his ex-partner's eyes and unsure what to do.

In the end, they'd all lost too many, too much, in the past few months, no matter how much they'd been able to salvage from it all.

Friends had been lost. Some in different ways than others, but all just as permanent. Things weren't the same. They'd never be the same.

Which was something that he'd be able to deal with. He'd dealt with loss before, and betrayal, and come out on the other side. So had everyone, in fact.

The hardest thing was how the chibi who was now lying draped over his shoulder and clearly crying, and how because he knows his partner better than anyone, he knows that the losses and the betrayals hit him harder than Dazai could imagine in several lifetimes, and Chuuya would only let out those emotions when drunk, just like he was now.

(He wonders if Mori had known that this would happen, and thinks it a waste of a question. Of course he had. Which makes him hate the man even more.)

It's a sign of either just how drunk Chuuya is, or just how upset and tired he is, that he slides down, and when he does, he doesn't fight back when Dazai pushes aside his hat, just to place a hand on Chuuya's head.

He closes his eyes for a moment, and carries on humming the song that Chuuya had started amid the noise of a rock song that was reaching its climax.

What do you see when you turn out the light-

His fingers move slightly, catching on the ever-present collar before going back to where they'd been, Dazai's mind wandering off to comments about dogs, to Corruption, to Chuuya walking backwards on the stairs, to the sound of his name being screamed by someone so small with such big lungs.

He isn't sure what those memories make him feel, but it presses on his chest in a way that's at the same time unfamiliar and uncomfortable, yet if it's a pain, then it's one that he doesn't want to be rid of just yet.

-I can't tell you, but I know that it's mine.